A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
