So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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