Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
