what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
