How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
