I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
