end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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