If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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