Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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