Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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