get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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