if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
