$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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