that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
