Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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