What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
