Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
