Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
