We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
