Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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