New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize