my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love you. Go after that dick
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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