OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
