They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
