you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
