i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
