saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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