So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
