Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize