I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
