I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
