I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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