were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
