I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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