I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
