Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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