Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
