i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
