we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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