i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
