Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
