Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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