drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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