Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize