Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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