I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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