I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
