I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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