I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
