this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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