Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
