Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
