You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
