I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
