I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
