at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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