weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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