Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
