Where is the hickey?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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