I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
