I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize